1. It's fair to say that wine is pretty great.
2. Wine is layered and complex and totally classy.
3. But face it, you really DGAF about that.
4. Like, you don't even pretend to care anymore.
Ahhh yes of course, I adore wine. I especially love [looks down at bottle of Pinot Grigio] peanut Gregorio
5. Because, as the saying goes, "Nothing tastes as good as 'Under $10 a bottle' feels."
6. But wine has its limitations. The barrier to entry is pretty high.
7. And the serving sizes are inconveniently small.
8. Enter: Sangria. Sangria is essentially wine + magic.
9. Magic:
10. Magic:
11. MAGIC:
12. Plus, cheaper wine is actually BETTER for sangria.
13. Sangria is more environmentally friendly, because there's less waste.
14. With wine, you're kinda locked into a certain alcohol content.
15. Sangria, on the other hand, is as boozy as you wanna make it.
16. Also, much easier access.
17. And wine glasses? Totally not necessary.
18. Straws are optional but recommended.
19. Wine pairs well with fancy food. Sangria pairs well with PARTY food.
20. Sangria is cold, fruity, and fun. AKA the perfect day drink.
21. And day drinking is great. Day drinking keeps you out of trouble.
22 year old me after a night of drinking: "I hope I didn't do anything stupid." 29 year old me: "I hope I didn't agree to go on a hike."
Trekking through the WILDERNESS, surrounded by WILD ANIMALS, with no cell phone service and a below-average sense of direction? Asking for trouble. Sipping sangria in a lawn chair on your very own porch? Very safe.
22. Three glasses of sangria + sunshine + friends = You, feeling fancy AF.
23. And because sangria is usually made in big batches, you don't have to worry about running out in the middle of a party.
24. And sure, there are going to be die-hard winos at every party.
These are the kinds of people that probably carry corkscrews around at all times and really who can hate on a person with that kind of foresight?
25. But hey, more sangria for the rest of us.
Happy summer, everybody.
