I, A Devoted Trader Joe's Enthusiast, Ranked Every Single Trader Joe's Dessert From Worst To Best

Despite the slightly sexier branding, you can't disguise a Fig Newton.

You know exactly what you're getting with these, and they'll suffice for something sweet, but there are much better options, like #10.

Let's just be real: chocolate covered > yogurt covered any day.

Sure, I'll eat it for breakfast, but I won't really remember it.

You're better off buying TJ's frozen pie crusts and making your own or grabbing a better TJ's product...like #13.

I don't trust people who enjoy the flavor combination of chocolate and orange.

If you're gluten-free and still looking for a great chocolate chip cookie, you can keep searching.

It's hard to get that excited about chocolate sheet cake.

These are perfectly fine for a dairy-free dessert, but it's hard to applaud a cheesecake without the cheese.

Not all pie is created equally, and sadly this is not a winner. Too heavy on the crust, too light on the fruit filling.

Sadly, this banana bread mix is lacking in the banana department.

With an odd aftertaste and surprising lack of flavor, these cookies are really just sort of meh.

Australians everywhere are rolling their eyes over this attempt at a classic Aussie dessert.

A close cousin to the popular Japanese Pocky snacks, these chocolate-dipped cookie sticks are fine but nothing exceptional.

Meet Milano's smaller and less satisfying cousin.

If you're looking for a non-dairy ice cream, there are better options within the frozen aisle, especially those made with oat milk (like #41).

These are addictive, but there are lots and lots of TJ's snacks that are much more worth it.

Yet another example of a perfectly satisfying treat that is overshadowed by more interesting dessert options.

At $7 a pop, this torte will feed a whole crowd, but it's a bit too heavy on the cocoa and light on the espresso flavor.

A decent ice cream to be certain, but there are more exciting flavors to be found, like #12.

Pretty? Yes. Tasty? They're alright...

Is it a cookie or a brownie? I'm confused.

Are you a toffee person? Act accordingly. 

These individually sized desserts are cute and easy, but for a fancy French treat I always prefer #26.

If you're going for quantity, it's hard to beat this tub of cookies. Quality-wise, you can do better.

A better-for-you version of classic Joe-Joe's, four of these slim cookies are only 150 calories. That means you're going to sacrifice some flavor, obviously.

Keep a bag of these on hand for whenever you're craving something sweet and salty.

These peanut butter wafers with jelly dipping sauce will certainly make you nostalgic.

They're not kidding about the triple ginger. These babies pack a kick.

This Danish gets exponentially better when you heat it up for a few seconds in the microwave.

For a fat-free dessert, these are actually pretty good.

This stuff flies off the shelves, and it's unique to say the least. Depending on your feelings about boba (you know, those gelatinous tapioca balls), you'll either highly enjoy this flavor or find it slightly disturbing. 

Heavy on the maple flavor and the cream filling, this is a great option as far as store-bought cookies go.

You know exactly what you're getting with these iconic gummies.

You know you're not going to stop after just a few of these.

Trader Joe's knows you can never go wrong with cookie butter.

It's a perfectly solid baking mix. No more and no less.

While not quite as good as the Jewish deli version, these stay surprisingly soft and moist despite the fact that they are store bought. 

Made with coconut milk, this dairy-free, vegan mini ice cream cone is great for people with dietary restrictions (or who are just cutting back on milk).

Shortbread and chocolate combine forces in this satisfying store-bought cookie.

A top contender among the dairy-free ice cream options, oat milk makes this frozen dessert super indulgent.

While perfectly tasty, it's almost identical to your basic Pillsbury rolls.

This great take on a Southern classic features flaky shortbread and tart lemon custard filling. It's a summer item, so grab one while it's available.

You won't believe these aren't made by Tates.

Unsurprisingly, It's one of the best store-bought cookie doughs out there.

I love matcha ice cream, but the TJ's version tastes almost too subtle compared to Japanese brands that boast more of that bitter, umami flavor.

Eat it by the spoonful, or spread it on anything from pretzels to apple slices.

Cornbread lovers will adore this slightly salty and ever-so-savory cookie. Just add butter and egg, and toss 'em into the oven.

These fudgy, dense brownies taste surprisingly homemade, and best of all, they aren't too sweet.

Seriously, what could be bad?

I'd love to see a double-stuffed version of this. The strawberry buttercream filling is just that good.

This Middle Eastern dessert is sort of like baklava in pie form. It's crunchy and creamy and sweet and salty in every bite.

Serve this to a crowd, and I guarantee no one realizes it's vegan. Soft, moist, and one of the best pre-packaged, bakery-aisle desserts you can find at Trader Joe's.

If you like macarons, these won't disappoint. Each box contains six different flavors of the French-inspired cookie.

This bakery-aisle find weirdly tastes exactly like a pancake in cake form. Drizzle it in maple syrup, and enjoy for breakfast or dessert.

If you're a licorice fan, this is one of the more underrated sweet snacks at Trader Joe's.

If you like shortbread cookies, these are love at first bite.

These should straight-up be illegal because it's impossible to stop eating them.

This internationally inspired dessert is unique and delicious: It gets crispy around the edges while it remains custardy and chewy on the inside. 

Of all the Joe-Joe's flavors (and all are excellent), this chocolate peanut butter medley is a game changer.

TJ's mochi comes in about half a dozen classic flavors, plus some seasonal items (Thai, mango, etc.), and it's hard to go wrong with any of them.

Some spend all year looking forward to summertime. I sit around waiting for apple cider donut season at Trader Joe's.

Pro tip: Serve each individually sized apple blossom with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

Loading this chocolate ice cream with peanuts would have been enough, but add swirls of peanut butter to the mix, and you've got something extraordinary.

Putting these so high on this list feels like a cop-out, but truly, there's no other opinion. 

Creamy, velvety cheesecake inspired by New York, brought to you by Trader Joe's.

These chocolate-covered frozen banana slices are a frozen aisle OG that I simply couldn't live without.

Indulgent enough to eat for dessert but light and refreshing enough to qualify as breakfast.

Just as good as anything you'd make from scratch, this frozen key lime pie is the perfect combination of tangy filling and buttery, rich crust.

Chocolate lava cakes are a real headache to make from scratch, but thanks to Trader Joe's, you literally never have to. Keep a box of these on hand, and you'll always be just minutes away from this fancy dessert.

Vanilla ice cream loaded with chunks of Speculoos cookie butter, it's the definition of crème de la crème.

There's mochi, and then there's ube mochi. The purple yam ice cream is a strangely addictive taste that's almost like a creamier, nuttier vanilla. 

IYKYK.