Bartenders Are Revealing The Things They Assume Whenever You Order Your Go-To Cocktail, And I, For One, Can Tell You I'm Never Ordering A Mojito Again
"You tell your friends it doesn't count, and you all laugh — but one of you will be sick in a few hours."
Chances are, you've never put much thought into your cocktail order. But have you ever wondered what the bartender is thinking when you ask for that spicy margarita or extra dirty martini? Well, redditor u/invertedparadX said, "Reply with your drink of choice and a bartender will tell you what it says about you; what is your drink?" Here's how bartenders stereotype different popular drink orders.
1. Jack and Coke: "You're a traditionalist, and as the night goes on you tend to increase the amount of Jack while cutting back on the Coke."
2. A Manhattan: "A very respectable order. A classy drink that is easy to make. You know cocktails but you aren’t going to make things overly difficult."
3. A fruity beer: "You're a girl who wants to impress her boyfriend but don't actually like beer."
4. Craft hard cider: "You're a woman in a comfortable, long-term relationship who got a babysitter for the evening (but you're not saying out too late!)"
5. Malibu and pineapple juice: "You tend to cry after your second drink."
6. Vodka soda with cranberry: "You care about calories more than your wallet and haven't yet met a Cosmopolitan."
7. Long Island iced tea: "You're a college student trying to get drunk as quickly as possible."
8. Mimosa: "You’re wearing a maxi dress and full makeup. You exude luxury, but might have to check your bank accounts before choosing which credit card to pay your bill with. You will Venmo request $3.89 from each of your friends who ate off the shared plate that you ordered. By the second round, you’ll be speaking at 150% the volume of the next loudest patron. Or you’re in your early 20s and will tell your friends 'it doesn’t count as day drinking if it’s brunch!' You’ll all laugh; one of you will be puking by 4 p.m."
9. Whiskey sour: "A good and savvy choice for making a cheap whiskey taste nice."
10. Amaretto sour: "You probably are the one to hold your friends' hair back when they're puking at the end of the night."
11. Cosmopolitan: "You're almost certainly a pain in the ass."
12. Dark and stormy: "You are pretty close to college age and have had this on spring break where some mistakes were made. Also, where’s your ID?"
13. Anything frozen and blended: "You're high maintenance and/or you're on vacation.
14. Mojito: "If it's slow, hell yeah, great order. They're tasty! If the bar is busy, then there is a special place in hell for you."
15. Gin and tonic: "You're safe. You know that no matter where you go, it’s pretty hard for someone to fuck up your drink order.”
16. The cheapest beer on tap: "You are a dying breed, possibly a working class hero."
17. Sex on the beach: "You're either a new younger drinker who doesn’t like the taste of alcohol or you're a mom in your 30s on a girls' night out."
18. Sazerac: "You went to New Orleans once and now you tell everyone it's your 'second home.'"
19. White Russian: "You don’t actually want alcohol but you’re at a bar with your friends and you sure as hell can’t order a milkshake."
20. Campari: "You're probably Italian and you have likely enjoyed wine with every meal since the age of 3."
21. Double shot of whiskey neat and a water: "You're a good tipper, you won't bother anyone, and you'll somehow pack away three drinks and walk away sober as a saint."
22. Strawberry margarita: "Your favorite restaurant is The Cheesecake Factory."
23. French 75: "You're definitely going to tell me about the last time you were in Paris."
24. The Last Word with mezcal instead of gin: "You're an edgy hipster who either works in the industry or you heard someone who works in the industry order this drink."
25. Negroni: "I trust you above anyone to behave at the bar."
26. Aperol Spritz: "You're a 20- to 30-year-old woman who will take photos with her colorful drink and the sunset."
27. Fireball shots: "You're underage or a first-time drinker who can't wait to have an epic hangover story."
