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1. A drumstick-shaped herb and spice infuser for injecting deeper, richer flavors into stocks, soups, sauces, and even ice creams — without having to fish them out at the end.
2. A countertop Aerogarden so you can grow all the herbs you want (no backyard required). And thanks to the LED grow lights, plus a watering-reminding system, no green thumb required either.
3. A couple of Sriracha to-go bottles designed to keep you afloat in your favorite hot sauce so you never have to suffer through a boring-ass lunch again.
4. Or Sriracha to-go packets you can keep in your purse or desk drawer at all times.
5. A pitcher with a fruit, veggie, and herb-infusing core so you can enjoy spa water in the comfort of your own home. Brb, pouring myself a glass of cucumber basil water and taking a nap right now.
6. Or a 32-ounce infusing water bottle with a core that goes alllllll the way down to the bottom. Just because you're on the go doesn't mean you can't enjoy a little fruity freshness.
7. Wood grilling wraps to permeate the veggie or skewer of your choice with a smoky flavor — *without* pulling out the smoker or wood chips.
8. A handy-dandy sheet pan (or two), because roasted veggies ~bring more to the table~ than steamed veggies do.
9. Four-blade herb scissors so you can snip fresh herbs *right over* the pot or pan (or even right over your plate as a final garnish) — no pulling out a cutting board, giant chef's knife, and wasting 25 minutes on the perfect tiny mince.
10. A frozen herb keeper for putting the ix-nay on dried herbs and using up the fresh stuff. Just cram in your herb of choice, turn the handle to compress, and freeze. When you need herbs, just twist to reveal your herbcicle and grate!
11. Speaking of which, a microplane to finely grate aged-to-perfection parmesan cheese, zest citrus fruits, or shave chunks of frozen herbs right into your dish.
12. An ingeniously designed olive oil bottle that'll infuse the flavor of whatever herb you want (looking at you, rosemary) and then measure the ideal amount for whatever recipe you're using.
13. Smoked bacon sea salt, which you should absolutely sprinkle on everything from steak to scrambled eggs to baked potatoes to avo toast to salad (so long fake-ass bacon bits).
14. A four-pack of Twang snack topping, because if you're eating a boring and flavorless bowl of popcorn, it's your own dang fault.
15. A spice *drawer* organizer to turn your messiest part of the kitchen into a clear, easy-to-read assortment of jars and labels. You'll never accidentally add cumin where you meant to add coriander again.
16. A quartet of simple syrups so your next happy hour can be even happier. Even a simple gin & tonic will be taken to the next level with these babies.
17. The Flavor Bible, a cookbook and guide to creating mouth-watering combinations of ingredients, textures, and temperatures for all skill levels as you develop confidence in the kitchen. It has over 1,000 five-star reviews alone, btw!
18. A bottle of Mike's Hot Honey so you never have to decide between sweet and spicy. You can be (and eat) both!
19. A meat injector to infuse steaks, whole chickens, pork tenderloins, and more with your go-to marinate — and bonus: it adds a whole lot of tenderness, too.
20. A hot sauce–making kit for anyone who wants to try their hand at creating a whopping seven different sauces — and seeing which pepper creates their favorite flavor (their flavorite, if you will).
21. A cast iron garlic roaster, because if you haven't had *roasted* garlic bread, I don't even know what you're doing. The regular, not-sweetly-caramelized version doesn't compare.
22. A Himalayan salt plank you can use to grill meats and veggies (imparting a lightly salty flavor) or chill and use as a serving platter for appetizers (and even sushi!).
23. A smokeless indoor grill to add tasty char marks to veggies and meat year-round — you don't even need to have a backyard.
24. A wine-aerating spout that'll help your three-buck chuck breathe and open up, helping the individual flavors and ~nuances~ of the wine be more apparent — even to beginner wine palates.
25. A two-in-one juicer and citrus grater to kick your ~zest for life~ (and your for cooking delicious recipes) up a notch.
26. And of course, some Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans for a truly ~magical~ way to experience tastes that will either delight (freshly cut grass!) or repulse (...vomit).
Here's hoping you're not stuck with a whole box o' earwax.
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